Sadhana, Production : M.Chowdhury Prachesta (1956)

Like every other post dinner session I was googling. Everynight I google random things to get some entertainment. Tonight, when I was coming back from dinner I was trying hard to remember the name of the only film my grandfather made. It is a shame that I forgot that, but let me very honest, I never remembered most of his songs poems or his only film. For songs and poems I was kept away from all those things though I believe that I was the most close person to my grandfather. I dont remember anything baout him, I was very small when he died, but somehow our lives are same, only I got enough chances in my life, and I am not at all an artist. I dont remember him as a human being, all my pictures of him came from his lyrics poems and the stories related to him. And there are many many interesting stories. Anyway I was kept away from his songs and poetry since no one believed or still believes in my family that I have music or poetry in me. I dont know what is the precise reason behind that, maybe i dont look serious enough to convince others or sad enough to prove that I do understand poetry. My name was given by my grandfather. It is said that he thought i will do justice to my name. Its really interesting for me to understand whether my name predecided my nature or I unknowingly tried to justify my name. Anyway from the starting point I started developing a soft corner for him. The stories of going to opposition congress parties winning celebration after loosing the election as communist candidate in strict congress west bengal or the his some sort of autobiography where he honestly admits all the lies he had said made him one of my favourite human beings, my brother remains the favourite for me. He had the unique ability to accept anything new. My uncle's brother in law Gautam Chattopadhyay was trying to start a new generation of music in seventies. It was full of rock , country and jazz style in it but totally indianised, with mixture of baul, toppa, shyama sangit and bhatiyali. They were trying to change the whole concept of music arrangement in India. As usual no one accepted them. All of them broke apart and atlast in last 10 years they gained popularity in some parts of west bengal. Anyway that time they used to come to our home and talk with my grandfather as he was the first person to change the style of bengali lyrics. When all of the contemporary poets musicians rejected them my grandfather accepted Mohiner Ghoraguli and may be Mohiner ghoraguli paid their homage by covering one of my grandfathers songs "dinduniyar malik tomar din ke doya hoy na" ( the owner of this world dont you feel sad for the poor) . Change is the only constant , and he understood it better than anyone. I also liked his nationalism. The reason the stories about the film was kept away from me because still that phase is considered as dark phase in my family. My grandfather lost all his money for this film, even the jewellary of my grandmother. He almost killed himself, but didn't do that atlast. He lived. He lived an unemployed life, with three son (four son, one of them died) and one daughter and one wife. He lived and wrote songs and even the day he died he went to record one of his songs ad came back and had a silent heart attack and died. This rebels, like my grandfather and Gautam Chattopadhyay, probably defines the ideal human life properly. They suffer, people make fun of their apparent failures, but still they work silently, lives a common man's life, without any award or reward, and one day they die hiding all their pains. Their work remains there, people start to understand their point of view (for example the huge bengali rock and organised folk music industry taking shape in kolkata after the death of gautam chattopadhyay, pritam using the song prithibi for na jane koi, or suman starting a new generation music called jibon mukhi in early nineties after the death of my grandfather). Yes my grandfather and gautam chattopadhyay will be totally forgotten, may be their songs, after few years , will be used by others without any mention about them. But still in every independence day or any national celebration will be incomplete without "muktiro mondiro shopanotole", any debate on indian rock music will be toatlly incomplete without the mention of prithibita naki chhoto hote hote, there wont be any couple in kolkata who will never hear sohorer ushnotomodine. In some way people like him or gautam chattopadhyay or jibonanondo das never die. I salute this down to earth rebels, they confirm my belief that not everything is wrong in this world. Before finishing this aimless blog (like all the other things in my life) i wish to quote one of my favourite poems of jibonanondo das, in some sense he taugt me how bad poet I am, this is just remembering the master and all the other masters :

Amidst a vast meadow the last time when I met her
I said: 'Come again a time like this
if one day you so wish
twenty five years later.'
This been said, I came back home.
After that, many a time, the moon and the stars,
from field to field have died, the owls and the rats
searching grains in paddy fields on a moonlit night
fluttered and crept! - shut eyed
many times left and right
have slept
several souls! - awake kept I
all alone - the stars on the sky
travel fast
faster still, time speeds by.
Yet it seems
Twenty-five years will forever last.


Probably I will love to live.