Desire

Desire, the name of the most complex emotion of human pathetic beings. I will rather say that this desire is the most complex emotion of mine. What is it, how is it, these are not the question i am concerned with, the main point is my desire is decreasing. I dont feel like winning something, I dont feel like getting my hands on something which i dont deserve ( though i dont deserve anything). Even the desire of being sad is leaving me. So i decided that i will waste myself a little bit, and with the remainig desire left i will give a try to finish my application. Yes i dont want to go anywhere , also i dont want to stay in my home, i dont want to die either. fuck yes , this is the state i wanted to be, and fuck no , i cant live like this.