Missing it, hardly

A statement without a motive is rare, but a statement with a clear motive is rarest in our normal world. Today, like every other day, i started my day, excessively late, trying to do a dream fixing thing in the early morning. A lazy person dreams a lot, all those things which requires effort is easily achievable in dreams, so "me", the only protagonist of the only story i am part of, dreams about all the things and everything. But wait, manythings are missing. Are these dreams same as those i used to fix before. Is there anyone missing ? No, I didn't ask this question in the morning, I came back, tried to fix the trivialities of mathematics, had lunch, read useless blogs and suddenly there was a phone call. A call from the person for whom my way of looking to this world is so upside down, who made me belief that being heavenly happy is just a hypersurrealistic sad moment at the same time, who gave me the urge to be excessively violent for my rights and for all the others. And, what a shame, I just spent so many days without remembering him. It is sure that I am forgetting my sense of duties, it is sure I am forgetting my resolutions, it is sure that I have changed into a horrible human being. No more I venture into the unsure part, no more my jaws become hard after each example of bullying. Am I going faster to the middle ages ? As the voice from the otherside asked me where are you ? and said I am missing you ? I couldn't reply .
And the lines was disconnected, will I get another chance to become the same human being again ? Will he find me near him, giving him the confidence, independence and the happiness he deserves . I kept him as my soul purifier , as the search light, is he still there, or I left him behind ? What should be the punishment for this ?