dumbstruck

It is so crowded , but what a contrast, i dont have any new thing to think about. It is scary to go outside, may be there will be bomb somewhere, or atleast some bus will run over some worthless life like me, there is a fear of just disappearing in the crowd, also there is a fear of getting recognised by everyone . Once upon time one person was a preacher of a balanced life, where everything will be there in a balanced way. there wont be any attachment to anything , freedom should be there for everyone , even freedom of hurting should be there. but i guess i am getting older really quickly, or maybe my age becomes older rapidly but i dont.

I saw one performance today. it was just a mime, but what a great performance ! simple script but great excution. Rudranil and kanchan are the best actors i have ever seen live. While kanchan is more like a natural comedian, rudranil is partly satirists . Rudranil reminds me of too many kafka charecters. Once upon a time, when I first read kafka, that too a really bad bengali translation, i thought how does a writer knows so much about all the small things about my life . Today i am convinced that being me is not a unique act, there many actors in the same role.


The program is cancelled. I dont want to go outside and i am sick of all those people who treats me like a whore. Tomorrow i will write a song, probably the best song of my life. Kafka made me this , or may be he was in the same role.