ai raat

this was written and composed when i was in first year of my undergraduation. The interlude part has clear inspiration from pehla nesha and the lyrics is combination of early 90's bengali lyrics and the contemporary bengali lyrics. i really want to thank anumita , as she was the inspiration behind this song. wherever she is , whatever grudge i had, wahtever i have done , but i cant ignore the fact that this song was composed for her. I have changed a lot of lyrics of the original one, as it is old and dead. Laal has done a great vocal job in this song, and thanks to mafia for giving me the urge to remake the song again. I didnt get the chance to dedicate this song to anyone , perhaps this song marked the end of a relationship. but today i dedicate this song to all my friends and mafia for making this song alive again.

ai raat jodi na shesh hoy kono dine hothat kore
hnatbo shudhu tor shathe ai him raat ontore,
jani ashbe na kono shopno ojana pothik hote
r jyosnar ki proyojon megheder danay shute.

obhilashi bikel jane dupur rod keno eka ,
diary-er priyo patay shara shondhe joma rakha,
jani ashbe na kono ghum hariyechi dher aage
r ghumer ki proyojon shur katano bishad raager

ai raat jodi ba shesh hoy kono dine hothat kore,
nirmed alo andhare rakha thakbe otit ghore
jani ashbe na kono shopno ojana pothik hote
r jyosnar ki proyojon megheder danay shute

moner dupur deyale hothat chipchipe duti chaya
chena chena baki alor dol shudhu ochena e andhar maya
jani ashbe na kono ghum .....


if this night doesn't end in a day suddenly
and i will be walking with you and this cold night inside me
i know that no dream will come to be an unknown stroller
and what is the need of moonlight to sleep on the wings of the clouds.
this night ............

ambitious evening knows why the afternoon sunlight is alone,
and the whole twilight is saved in the favourite page of the diary,
i know that i wont get any sleep as i have lost them long ego,
and why will sleep destroy the music of melancholy.

if this night does end in a day suddenly,
even then it will be saved in an old room with fatless light and shadow,
i know that no dream will come to be an unknown stroller
and what is the need of moonlight to sleep on the wings of the clouds.

suddenly there are two slim shadows on the wall of the afternoon mind,
all the lights are known but what are these games of darkness,
know that i wont get any sleep as i have lost them long ego,
and why will sleep destroy the music of melancholy.

o mon

hothat shonali shondhe hole
thik kar jeno golpo bole , mon,
dekhte chay, hishab khatay,
je din ghumolo, tar nesha
ghum eshe jak ghumer gaane
ghumer ghore din takao

r hothat mone bhir kore ashto jara
aaj keno onuposthit tara ?
o mon ki chao , aaj bole dao,
tomar ami na onyo keu ?
tomar shathe ai doirothe
amay keno aaj harao.


suddenly when the golden evening drops
mind tells stories of someone,
mind want to see in the draft of life,
the dizzyness of the lost day.
and sleep should come with the lullaby ,
and day you should look up with your sleepiness.


and suddenly those people who used come in my mind
why they are absent today ?
oh mind , tell me , what do you want ?
am i yours or someone else ?
in this dueal match you are playing with yourself,
why i loose ?

pujo shonkha private limited

oh my god. it started again. agony of not having something, jealousy for others havong something, the nameless emotion due to no work, reckless thoughts due to loneliness, everything just vanished. Just teh moment when i was thinking that its better to drink every night before going to bed just to get good sleep i found my timepass. today it started again. my music . me joydeb and laal with great support from nyata , we have the newest lifebuoy. one trying to get rid off post addiction effect, another one just trying to spend some time after a week long of screwing in software company, and yours truely, trying to not think about those things which i cant control, these three overly optimistic but still dreadfully fallen humanbeings started pujo shonkha private limited. this is our band, this is my way of saying fuck off to all things which are unwanted. we started with a song, without lyrics. i was playing d major and g minor, without any intention of playing something fruitful, just warming up, then laal asked me what the hell it is. i said i dont know , and that moment, we found the new tune. as usual whoever heard it said that it sounds like some other song. god damne it, isn't it good enough that it sounded like a song. i officially dedicate this song to the greatest entertainer of life. even if i kill myself oneday, i will be really proud that i enjoyed few days in my life. no more grudge.

My first take on caste system aryan invasion and phirangis

Only weak aligns himself with society caste culture country. It is so very true and it took so many god damne years to show me the real truth. I have been through all sorts of extremism. Once upon a time I was strict brahmin , once upon a time a strong male superiority theory propagator, once upon a time fairness seeker, once upon a time a strong nationalist and then a strong pseudo secularist which ended in strong communism. Yes I have shit all around me , gods devils and human beings constantly tried to take me in their camp. I went , I shouted, I spat hatred, but atlast got a kick. Kick is what I know , kick is what i will get everytime. But still I cant change myself, hatred is there inside, and it is infact not true that love is the basic emotion and hatred is practised. I cant get rid off hatred , jealousy , even my love is somehow attached to hatred for some other things . I need another kick, a strong one. But then I am just moving around in the sphere of hatred, no new states, no new way of finding peace. All those millions sitting inside me trying to make new camps, new party, new agenda, i dont even know who wins, i am just a spectator.

It is sad and disgusting to find that even the best of the intellectuals of indian origin never ever said anything against caste system in india, even gandhi has this idea that caste system is somehow necessary for india. Last few years I have gone through all these intellectuals and their works, be it astonishingly clever Gayatri Spivak, or wisest Amartya Sen, there are no positive and anti caste system remarks from any one of them. In fact few indian intellectuals and offcourse phirangis went on to support this system. One of the Indian origin intellectual is Mr Naipaul. Well he has a strong reputation of being racist from the first day. Like most of the North Indians he can not tolerate the dark skin color , and that is one of the reason he forgets and sometime humiliates his west indian history. He is proud to consider himself as a bhumihar and finds the Indian Caste system so god damne friendly and essential for indian society, fro him india is hindu rashtra, and all the bullshit related aryan invasion theory is true.
Well I never accepted Aryan invasion theory , since whatever evidence is there are anthropological evidence, and sorry anthropology is for intellectually challenged people, it was hitlers favourite science and most of the europe still believes that it is a science. Anyway now i can see how aryan invasion theory is so god damne true. People say lot of thing about aryan superiority theory and sites the example of post world war germany. Well post world war germany is not created by germans, infact german were treated as slaves in that time, all the money and infrastructure came from usa or ussr, and as usual the frenchies sucked the blood out of germans. Infact if any country has done anything in post wrodl war situation without the help of phirangis is china. Japan is still a slave of USA. And there are no aryan connection of chinese history. Secondly if aryan people also came to india and they are the people who left their children in northern part of subcontinent, then it is really clear that they are the most genetically inferior race of this world. Look at the failed state of pakistan, failed state of kashmir , up, bihar . Look at the violence in delhi, gujrat, haryana. These are all aryan infected area. Yes aryan blood means violence, it means discrimination, starting from caste system, to degradation of women in india and degradation of other countrie sin india to the gas chamber in germany every god damne violence has aryan connection. The superiority theory and this violent nature goes hand in hand. As they knew that they are actually genetically inferior , that is the reason they started staying together, making community and also their propagandas have their roots in this inferiority complex. They degraded women , since they were not able to match their women, they degraded the indigenous people, because they saw that they can not make something like indus valley civilisation . African and indigenous people are brave. They can stay alone, without any propaganda , without any self flattering false history ( the kind of history these phirangis and north indians boast off). Be alone, be strong, to fight the strongest enemy you dont need to make groups and camps. fighting is, by definition, a lonely process. Face the challenges alone, know the world alone, live alone , die alone, no need of country culture or anyother systems .and hatred is important. Loving Naipaul or phirangis or brahmins is strioctly not justifiable.

week of entertainment and hope

My mini travel week is over. I haven't seen anything though , as usual i spent my time in my respective rooms in chennai and bhubaneswar, but it was a really entertaining week . First of all being at CMI , new campus , with few of my old friends of CMI was boundlessly entertaining and then it was bhubaneswar where again the mafia entertains in her usual unpredictable way. Bhai in CMI gave us the unusual treat of his eloquence power (sadly it was after grass ). Madhukar took his photograph and he exclaimed " dont i look like katrina kaif ?". Then there were cats, few girls ( first time in CMI). Surprisingly they have discovered that CMI guys are either frustru case or total nerds. Good for them but bad for the guys there. I can really start writing lots of pathetic stories about what is going to happen in cmi in next one year. Anyway , I bought the new Rabbi Shergill album Avengi Ja Nahin in Chennai, and after my first tryst with it I fell in love with three songs of it " Karachi Valie", "tu avin bandra", "bilqis". The opening song chhalla, has this melancholic punjabi folk touch , as if anyone can identify with the song, as if the song is about them, some really soft corner is getting exposed but yet there is a cover. Rabbi comes with another great piece of lyrical work, he is the best poet of recent times for me. Nothing, even my joblessness, moves me more than Rabbi . The second song is Karachi valie, punk elements with distinct rabbi style punjabi high pitch voice, this song is supposed to be the main attraction of the album. Lyrics is simple but femininely romantic. This is where Rabbi stands out from all the lyricists of modern times of India, something like Cold Play. I guess every one will agree there is nothing and no one like Rabbi Shergill in this world. Maen Bolia is like gill de guitar like composition, it's a story of a conversation , lyrics is as usual Rabbi standard , but till now challa remains the best lyrics for me. "Avengi Ja Nahin" is like "Istehar" lyrically but more modern use of words and sequences , it has this cute chord changes at the starting , sounds like cold play comes to punjab. Now "Ballo" is Rabbi's first attempt to R& B, lyrics is strictly ok, I mean i exepect only wrolds best lyrics from Rabbi. Then comes the best lyrics of the album, with "tu avin bandra", Rabbi takes Indian commercial music to the worlds topmost place. Even Dylan would have been happy to pen down a gem like this. My favourite couplet is
" jehrhian tu dourhan viche chhadian vekhin jinna puri keetian
vekhin tu raaje nagey fired hooran pakhey lamkian."
Then comes the "Paghri Sambhal Jatta". As far as I understand , It is about the history of exploitation of every class of the lower classes. Anyway no comments about this song , apart from the fact pointed oput by bhai that the starting sounds like some pink floyd song.
Last comes bilqis (jinhe Naaz hai), let me remnind you that it is not like jugni of the last album, there is no touch of satire here or any story telling. Its just questions targetted to everyone , from few indians who gave their life fighting against corruption and government non government exploitation. I felt like standing up during this songs. I was thinking that guys with long beard can really write well, marx, tagore, rabbi.......